You can’t imagine it, Jessie J states. At that moment readying for her new album launch in nearly a decade, blissfully happy with her current love, and finally the parent to a young child after struggling to conceive for a decade, feeling invincible. Then in March she was told she had cancer in her breast.
The musician, real name J. Cornish, is known for speaking her mind. The record, the provocatively titled album, was supposed to be an transparent story, dealing with every ounce of devastation she’d experienced since she last recorded music (a gynecological condition, losing a baby, failed relationships, emotional abuse, suicide) with typical candour. The initial release, No Secrets, was launched in the spring. But by then there was a mighty secret. The cancer. Then next release, her song Living My Best Life, came out in late spring and Cornish was giving interviews about how she was living her best life, while at the same time living with the disease. Four weeks after she shared the news, and in July she had a mastectomy.
She shoots me her best “What the fuck?” expression. “I come out with a song called No Secrets. I’m giving every media appearance, and they’re, like, ‘What’s happening?’ and I answer, ‘Erm, yeah, nothing …’” she has just had to call off performances because she’s yet to undergo reconstructive surgery.
We’re at a photography studio in the capital. She is sporting a beige fake-leather jacket, blue jeans with ornate white designs, beige footwear and large glasses. Think motorcycle style meets vintage look. “I feel like I’m in the 70s and I should have a boyfriend with a big tache.” Easy Rider, I say, thinking of the picture. “They used to call me that!” She smiles. She is fast-thinking, irreverent and direct. She says she has always wanted to try comedy and is planning to attempt her initial standup show in the coming year. “I enjoy humor. On stage I basically roast the crowd.”
Medical Challenges and Discovery
She was preparing for an performance at the ceremony when she found a lump. “I quickly sought to get it checked, had an test, and they were, like, ‘It appears fine; your tissue is healthy.’ And I responded, ‘However, it’s there. I have arm pain and pins and needles in my hands whenever I get up.’ And they said, ‘We should biopsy it?’ The date was March 28, the day after my birthday.” It was a weekend eve. The physician told her if it was bad news she’d reach out on the Monday. By then Cornish had convinced herself it was nothing. The way she explains it, it was simply too inconvenient to receive a diagnosis when she had a busy schedule.
“Just two weeks before from debuting the project after years away and an extended break. And she contacted me and said, ‘Are you free at six?’ And I was, like, ‘A video call, likely minor.’ So I jump on the Zoom expecting it’s all going to be fine, and she goes, ‘Please take a seat.’ That sympathetic voice? And she continues, ‘Unfortunately but your biopsy results have shown high-grade cancer cells.’” What did you say? “I answered, ‘Oh, that’s not ideal, is it?. That’s not fucking great timing.’ The first thing I thought was, ‘I can’t die because my son needs me.’”
Men have called me difficult because I’m a strong person who understands who I am
She considered the operation scary and bizarre. “I dislike anesthesia. You’re escorted. In urgent cases you roll down in a bed, but now I just strolled down with a gown on and my rear exposed. Like a dystopian scene.” But, she notes, she’s been lucky. No chemo, no radiotherapy, just the surgery. “Cancer is awful, but yet Thank fuck I found it early. I had the mastectomy a few months back and my one side now looks like a fruit under fabric.” She smiles again. “I got to keep the nipple, though.”
The subsequent surgery is for health and appearance. Her boobs, she notes, are now “uneven. The size doesn’t match. That’s impolite! I reflected, why make it worse, I’m already having a difficult experience. How offensive! It’s funny because I said I’d avoid breast surgery because I’ve got perfectionism, and I know they’d never be flawless. My plans were disrupted.”
Previous Struggles
The singer is accustomed to medical issues. She feels her attitude toward illness has been so optimistic because she’s experienced in health crises. Frequently they align with peak moments, acting as a reminder, or punch in the stomach, to remind her not to assume everything is fine. “Truly, I feel the universe whispers, ‘Enjoying yourself? Sit down.’ From a young age, it has consistently accompanied moments of success for me; something severe or obscure has impacted my body.”
She reminisces to her childhood, already making her debut featuring in the London theater in Whistle Down the Wind (she was cast at the age of 9). That’s when she was found to have the cardiac issue a syndrome, which can cause a tachycardia as well as vertigo and heart flutters. “I was going in and out of rehearsals on an intravenous line, and being readmitted at night.” She skips forward six years, and young Jessica has become part of the trio Soul Deep while enrolled in the academy. “I signed my initial contract, and I had a cerebral event. Then when I was planning to release songs in recently I had a car crash and my larynx moved up and I was unable to vocalize for a long period.”
Oi, I say, hold on, I need a moment. You really had a stroke at 17? She nods|agrees
